Email of the evening.

I just received this through my inbox from someone I haven't spoke to in five or six years. I'm guessing the chap didn't write it himself. The boundaries of decency forced me to change the name of the victim to Alvin Sawdust.

Hi everyone!

Just so you all know, I am a big fat disgusting piggie who likes sleeping with old German lady goths behind my girlfriend's back.

Because of this, I decided to change my name by deed poll to 'Disgusting Pig'. I now go by that name. It was a toss up between 'hairy monkey', 'lizard breath' and 'Disgusting Pig' and well, Gem's friends decided the latter was the best.

I agree as Hairy Monkey sounds quite cute and I am not!

I hope you all won't be too saddened by this news as I thrive on the adoration of others and need approval at all times.

Its my weakness!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'd like to share with you a few things I LOVE doing...like shoving coke (cocaine...Charlie....nose candy) up my big fat

piggie schnoz, its class, but SHHH, don't tell my dad!!!!!

I also like telling lies, writing shit songs and trying to sing (I've been told I'm like a young Michael Bolton)

I also need to warn the ladies that I like my puny penis rubber free, so diseases are a daily occurrence with me. Only genital warts so far (I'm hoping for Herpes by the time the year is out) , but after the Kraut, who knows!

Well anyway chaps, I'd best get going!

Tally ho!

Alvin Sawdust...Sorry, I mean DISGUSTING PIG, this name change thing is hard!
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